i am
not there
and my current pain feels endless and boundless,
sharing it with you there
comes with untold hopes for
some kind of refugee status
from you
over there.
but none of it comes
with your reports about your life, your wishes for strength, your buckets of love and courage.
i should be grateful for these wishes, and for so much else between us,
but i fail
and i sense dehumanization.
my dignity falls into pieces.
should i refrain from communicating with you?
maybe i will try.
in a sacred experiment.
for a little while.
to care for our friendship.