Lo Bil
after her broadcast
during Radio Confessions

i was looking at Claude as i spoke.  i noticed she did not have any judgement on the things i said.  her neutrality seemed to ionize the power these memories held.  they were just actions, they seemed so distant and irrelevant suddenly.  what was relevant was that i was trying to change things by agreeing to speak publicly of this experience. 

i realized i was simply a human making mistakes in my attempt to live honestly.  and i realized there is no public platform for these personal confessions.    

i felt very human trying to connect with these vibrations from the past that i was carrying with me everywhere.  vibrations that exist between us all, but go unseen, unacknowledged.  i find it kind of profound to connect with the reality of my humanity via a technological means. 

and we all agreed that radio had something spiritual about it, as if we could talk to clouds and gods and loved ones who had died.  the short time spent with Claude and Coman and the others was an invitation into another realm of possibility.  right now radio broadcasts are so programmed and systematic in so many ways.  good, efficient, and interesting ways but - there was suddenly a beautiful science fiction dream we imagined collectively - that our airwaves could be filled with real stories, from raw hearts, punctuated by untrained breathing, the vulnerable syntax of searching and yearning, and words that would change lives in an instant.