every gesture is ideological.
this website writes one narrative.

i have lived 53 years. i have learned nothing. i am a body quickly recording/reacting through/with/despite/according to the filters of a slowly transforming mind. i think that i have been trying accessible ways to plastify and free the/my mind from gender and other internalized oppression. I believed in one-off long lasting transformation, i.e. in the possibility of a magical/sacred transformation in one series of performances. I believed in a less obvious, less controlled magic, i.e. that one transformation in performance would continue transforming me despite me. I believed in the collectiveness of transformation, i.e. "if i transform in a performance, every body is transformed". I believed in public improvised vocalizing as a powerful freedom-reclaiming practice, i.e. if i free and vocalize held breath in public, i transform the internalized oppressor in my mind into space. I believed that other bodies would join my practice. I believed in gently nurturing personal and collective transformation by encouraging others to take ownership of my intents and create their own ripples.

all this has been somewhat true, sometimes with ecstatic beauty, but it seems to have been a search for equality from a position of privilege in which i was not really dying.

i am still not really dying but i now know that i deeply want equality. i feel equal when i have a voice. i have a voice when i feel equal. and i seem to look for solidarity in action. i am terrified of making a mistake, of course, which is a manifestation of my oppressors, and privilege, but, of course, i will make mistakes.
selected works

- UNsettling August 12th (2017)
- UNsettling JULY 1st (2017)
- 2894 (started in 2016, ongoing)
- voice on mixl/r (sporadic)
- radio equals (started in 2014, sporadic)
- trans temporary radio (2013)
- radio confessions (2014)
- waiting (2017)
- why radio?
- noiqouvdcseality (noise/sound/voice/equality)(2016)
- faster (Kayla Milmine and Brian Abbott) christmas special with claude wittmann (2015)
- older sound works

after or about the works

ripples through others
reflection on documentation through some images of my work
titles and people